update - February 16th

more than 8 billion people in the world.

and i still want you

the worst thing you can do to yourself, is fall

for someone harder than they fell for you

listen sweetie, you never that much to me

hope your eyes can see what you did to me.

you'll always be my enemy.

it's taken me a long time to  accept

who he is and who he will never be

just once, i want to be hard to leave

i want someone stay up all night

thinking only of me.

you grab my attention when you walk into the room.

it could be past midnight, and I'm still thinking of you.

I cannot control the feelings you've got me going through.

I want to be yours, but thats up to you.

I never said that you mean the world to me

Maybe its best that you never know.

Honey, tell me, why do you always smile when you see me

hurt so bad? Tell me what i did to you, babe, that could make

you act like that. Yeah I've been your fool before and i probably will again.

and i know now; that day

will never happen where

you and me will join hands

and not give a care in the

world around us.

Kiss my lips, and i swear i'll fall apart.

I took everything you are, and i wished

upon a star and you were there, and you

filled my lonely heart, and maybe i was wrong

And we're more than friends,

but less than lovers.

Loneliness taught me that I don't need anyone

Love taught me that someone will come.

I cant give up on you

but i wish you knew

that even though i may smile

ive been hiding a frown for a while

ever since you let me go

ive just been wanting to let you know

that no matter how much you hurt me.

ill always come back you see.

i just with you knew

that im nothing without you

maybe its just a lesson we have to accept.

that you will loose people and shouldn't regret it.

its not your fault you let me go.

left my heart not to know

that you will be mine again

and we'll be left with being friends

you lead me on, then let me go, acting like it was nothing.

i gave you my heart and gave you my love. and you brought me down.

i've learned to never fall for someone as quick as i had fallen for you.

but i guess im left with being alone and wishing you knew.

she finally gave up.

she dropped the fake smile

and a tear ran down her cheek

she whispered to herself;

i can't do this anymore

his blue eyes stole my heart.

his strong hands ripped it apart.

his cute voice made me smile.

his loving words had me going for a while

i should have seen it from the start

that a girl like me couldn't win his heart.

update - February 3rd

i guess i thought you'd be here forever.

another illusion i chose to create.

i guess you don't know what you got

till its gone; and i found out

just a little too late

i've tried forgetting you but that didn't seem to work.

so i've come to terms with who you are &&

who you have been. the only thing

i wish you could se, is what you really

could be. your past doesn't make you, nor

decide what you are. & i know you're not

sorry, but i forgive you.

maybe someday you'll realize:

how fast i fell for you.

and maybe someday i'll realize:

that wishes can come true.

I'm still trying to find out:

if i'm capable of moving on.

without you.

I stay awake at night, thinking of you.

And how things might've been if we had

worked things through.

You stole my heart and

never gave it back.

You're long gone. and i never

got to say goodbye.

I'm done trying. I have done everything i could

possibly do: Just for you. You've changed my life

and there's no going back. because once those final

words are spoken. they're stuck.

i don't know if you notice anythings missing;

i don't know if you notice anything different;

i don't know if you even notice at all; that I'm

long gone; and things that keep us apart- keep

me alive; and the things that keep me alive-

keep me alone.

is love alive?

what if you could wish me away

& what if you spoke those words today

i wonder if you'd  miss me when im gone.

its come to this; release me. i'll leave before the dawn

and I'm starting to believe it; that I'm wasting time

and my eyes can finally see it; so i'll leave tonight

and as long as you stay

with me; ill be alright

I've given you my heart;

and I'm not afraid

If its a letter you want; I'll write it now.

If its a song; I'll sing it loud

If its attention; I'll be around

and if its space you need; I'll fly to the moon

hoping to come back and rescue you;

but thats only if you want me to.

Your afraid of something different.

and I'm afraid this could be perfect.

I'm good without you

How many times can

i break till' i shatter?

over the line... can't

define what I'm after

something always brings me back to you.

You can't see me wanting you

the way you want her but 

you are everything to me.

and i just wanna show you she 

don't  even know you, she's 

never gonna love you like i want to

and you just see right through me,

but if you only knew me we could

 be a beautiful, miracle, unbelievable,

instead of just invisible.

will someone please call a surgeon.

who can crack my ribs & repair this

broken heart that you're deserting

for better company; i can't accept that

its over.

Just say how to make it right

& i swear i'll do my best to comply

All this time i wasting hoping you would

come around, i've been giving out change every time

and all you do is let me down

and its taken me this long baby but i figured you out

and your thinking we'll be fine again.

but not this time around.

you have a way of coming easily to me

and when you take, you take the very best of me.

so i start a fight cause i need to feel something

and you do what you want. cause I'm not what you wanted.

every ending is a new begging

did you forget?

that i was even alive.

did you forget?

everything we ever had.

did you forget?

about me.

did you regret?

ever standing by my side. 

did you forget?

what we were feeling inside.

now I'm left. to forget.

about us.

where did we go wrong?

it's funny how someone can mean

so much to you. and you think that

they are perfect for you. but in the

end. your heart is left broken & you

figure out that you were totally wrong.

i was a dreamer before you

went & let me down.

i believed in you.

i was naive. got lost 

in your eyes. i never

really had a chance.

never settle for nothing